- Friend: what time do you usually go to bed?
- Me: 10:30ish sometimes 4
Come on, honey, this house is a fresh start for our family!
White dads in horror stories (via saddestblogger)
y’all think this is a joke but I would legitimately buy this
I’m screaming I asked this kid at work what he was reading and he said its a “Harry potter spin off by an independent author” like he’s trying to disguise his fan fiction I’m laughing
I’m so glad flappy bird ended before there was legitimate merchandise made like angry birds
love how kids introduce themselves like “hello im johnny im five years old i know how to read” yeah cool i didnt ask for your life story asshole
dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss
God I hope to be this bad ass in my 70s+
People who actually buy music from iTunes.
Hubble-V, a glowing gas cloud in Barnard’s Galaxy.
Image credit: Hubble Heritage Team, ESA, NASA
i am good at circles
Fuck yo and your ability to draw a circle, Ellen. YOU KNOW IT’S A NIGHTMARE FOR ME TO DO THAT YOU INSENSITIVE DICK.
Fuck off, Sarah. I can cheat too.
Ah hah hah hah hah!
I drew a nice circle again and it reminded me of this